10 популярных английских рождественских шуток

Father Christmas by the Christmas tree

В прошлом своём видео мы рассказали вам о том, что такое Christmas Crackers – рождественские хлопушки, как они были изобретены в Великобритании много лет назад и до сих пор остаются непременным атрибутом праздника.

В каждой хлопушке помимо бумажной короны и небольшого сувенира обязательно есть листок с шуткой-загадкой. Вот об этих шутках и пойдет сегодня речь в Наташином видео.

Сами англичане иногда жалуются, что шутки в хлопушках не самого высокого качества.

К примеру:

- Почему Санта на Рождество развозит детям подарки?
- Потому что они не могут доставить себя сами!

Эту и другие шутки вы можете послушать на английском языке в нашем сегодняшнем видео. Чтобы было легче, мы их проиллюстрировали, и Наташа попыталась шутки объяснить. Мы знаем, что неблагодарное дело – объяснять и переводить шутки и анекдоты с иностранного языка. Но что делать, ведь английский учить надо?!

 

 

Напоминаем, что, как обычно, в Наташиных видео можно воспользоваться английскими субтитрами, которые можно активировать или отказаться, нажав на специальный значок внизу видеокартинки – прямоугольник с красной линией снизу. Для тех, кто интересуется самим текстом видео, располагаем его ниже.

Hello, friends! Natasha is here again.

The other day I told you about crackers which we pull at Christmas dinners. This cracker opens with a ‘Bang’ and have some stuff inside: paper hat or crown, a small present and a piece of paper with a joke on, which some people find silly. Today you can make your own opinion, as I am going to present you with some of them.

As it is not that easy to always understand English humour, I’m going to illustrate them and give you some help explaining the jokes.

So let’s begin, here is the first traditional Christmas cracker joke.

Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles!

As you understand, British Christmas trees cannot sew, the same as all other trees all over the world, but sewing and trees have something in common – needles!

Why did the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks!

Roast turkey is a traditional dish at a Christmas dinner. The same as chicken, duck and other birds, turkey has 2 legs, which are called drumsticks.

On another hand, drummers who might play, for example, in a rock band, are using drumsticks to play on a drum. This is why there is a small possibility that a turkey might join the band as it has drumsticks.

I am joking, of course. Turkey has completely different drumsticks.

Who hides in the kitchen at Christmas time?
A mince spy!

Mince pies are a traditional treat, some sort of biscuit or tart at Christmas time.

A spy – you know – like 007, who always works undercover…

I think it was a very funny idea to mix pie and spy.

What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
A pineapple!

A Christmas tree is a decorated pine tree. An apple is an apple, you know. But together they make a pineapple which is a very delicious fruit!

What do snowmen have for breakfast?
Snowflakes.

To explain this joke I just need to tell you that lots of people in the world have CORN FLAKES for breakfast.

Why can’t you wash up at Christmas?
Because the Fairy is on top of the tree.

‘Fairy’ washing up liquid is very popular in many countries, I’m sure you know what we are talking about. But fairy is also a beautiful Christmas tree topper.

What king is the children's favourite at Christmas time?
A stocKING!

You know stocking, don’t you? Children used to put stockings near the chimney so that Father Christmas can fill them up with sweets and toys at Christmas Eve while the children are asleep.

There is a threat that a child who behaves badly during the year will receive only a piece of coal. However, coal is rarely, if ever, left in a stocking, as it is considered cruel.

What do you call Rudolph with lots of snow in his ears.
Anything you want, he can't hear you!

You remember who Rudolph is, yes? He is the lead reindeer pulling Santa's sleigh on Christmas Eve.

-Mum, can I have a dog for Christmas?
-No you can have turkey like everyone else!

Well, this joke is self explanatory, isn’t it? We all have our parents tested asking about having pets – little kittens or puppies.

Why does Santa take presents to children around the world?
Because the presents won’t take themselves!

I find this joke funny and I am sure everyone will understand that without a problem.

I hope you enjoyed my today’s video. I would like to take this opportunity to wish you Merry Christmas. May all your dreams come true and no coal is placed in your stocking ever. May peace, love and happiness follow you always!

Merry Christmas! Goodbye!

 


4 комментария:

  1. Мне про Fairy шутка понравилась ;)

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    1. Таня, у нас как раз прошлогодняя верхушка разбилась, думаю, может Fairy купить? :)

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  2. Лена,слушай, у вас ведь целый учебник уже получается. Как бы его растиражировать побольше,а? такой классный материал и такого качества вы с Наташей делаете,что слюнки текут))

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    1. Все в порядке, Ирочка, не волнуйся. Спасибо за высокую оценку! :)

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